First off, I want to talk about the article from CNN.com, "The Mythical 'War on Men'" by Michael Kimmel! This article discussed the killed relationship between the sexes from author Suzanne Venker who is adamant in believing that men are the cause of women's unhappiness. Kimmel writes his piece with the belief that men can be equal partners, coworkers, colleagues, and parents. The final line of Kimmel's article says, "We want it all also- - and the only way we can have it all is to halve it all." This statement utters the simple truth that many of us forget; relationships take two people and regardless of the sex, both people have wants and needs that are capable of being equal if that is what they desire.
There can be negative stigmas attached to a male and female relationship in that the man doesn't always carry his own weight, or women are meant to be in the kitchen while the men are bringing home the dough and working out in the yard and on their toys, but this is in fact not every scenario. We associate males and females in a way that we were taught from when we were young; the 50's version of the American dream, but news flash, it's almost 2013!
Although many relationships do fit this stigma, many relationships are successful while being what we may consider "non-traditional." Have you thought of the dad being a stay at home dad? Or the mom bringing home the paycheck? What about a family with no kids at all? Or even more, a same sex relationship? What about a same sex relationship with children? There are so many possibilities to both the heterosexual and homosexual relationships these days that it is almost hard to even put a stigma or stereotype to it.
I suppose that my thoughts on relationships is that it is possible for both people in a relationship to be happy, if they are both putting in the effort and both offering what each other needs whether its financially, emotionally, or sexually.
With that in mind, Kissing Jessica Stein is a great way to express how different people need different things in a relationship and that if both people are willing to help the other with their needs then the relationship might dissolve into a friendship or even worse no friendship at all. Helen was a sexually driven person, while Jessica was a confused person who happened to have bad luck in love and decided that maybe, just maybe she wasn't attracted to the opposite sex, but the same sex. Their relationship as Helen puts it is a friendship, they are simply best friends and by their break-up Jessica puts their relationship into perspective by saying to another character that she just wasn't gay enough for Helen. Both of these women brought something to the table, but what they were bringing did not meet what each other needed; therefore, the relationship end, but they were fortunate to remain really close friends.
Julia Kristeva puts love bluntly in her piece, "In Praise of Love" by stating, "love never dwells in us without burning us." With every love, there is the inevitable chance of hurt--that might not mean the relationship dissolved, but maybe that there was a harsh argument or a disappointment; however, whatever the case may be love brings us this burning sensation. Often times we say we have butterflies or these un-explainable feelings inside our stomach when we think of that special other, but can't it be true that we feel the burning too? Here's the thing, we must take that chance to fall in love because it's natural to desire another person, to want a relationship (maybe even like one listed above), maybe to just step outside of our comfort zone and take an adventurous risk. Without risk there would be know desire; there would be no love. Kristeva sums up my thoughts for today, "Within love, a risk that might otherwise be tragic is accepted, normalized, [and] made fully reassuring."
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