Before Sunset

Before Sunset, the sequal to Before Sunrise, is the continuation of a conversation through which two people have fallen in love. Celine and Jessie are two strangers who met on a train and decided to spend some time together in Vienna before they had to depart. In their brief time together they found love. There was great passion and unbelievable desire for each other. Upon departure from each other, they decided to not give each other contact information and meet again six months later at the exact place from which they were leaving. Before Sunrise leaves you hanging onto your seats and waiting in anticipation, will they actually meet again? 

Before Sunset is nine years later. At this point, Jesse is married and has a son named Henry. He is a New York Best-Selling author who writes about a fictional love story about a very special moment in time. We learn later, that his hopes to writing this book and doing a book tour might give him and Celine a chance to meet again. Jessie's story was an idealized version of the night he had spent with Celine. When they did meet again, nine years later they both had a very different version of love. Jessie was unhappy, but would remain unhappy for the sake of his son. He never felt real love, but he felt he was fulfilling the necessary obligations that one had to deal with in life. Jessie never let go of his love for Celine, in fact, he lived it daily through his book and through dreams. 

On the other hand, Celine's idea of loved seemed very different from Jessie's and very cold. She preferred to have her boyfriend be away so that she could could still have her and independence, but still miss him. Later in the movie, she cracks and blames Jessie for the reason she can't love. 

In one discussion, Jessie said that "if you liberate yourself from desire then you will find that you already have what you need." What caught my attention as they were talking about desire is that Jessie said "need" to desire is to "want." As they talked with each other, Jessie said that we are "designed to be dissatisfied," as if we are meant to always want more; nothing is ever good enough. Although Celine believed that it was a sign of depression to think that way, I find it very true. I believe that we always want more. We want more in clothing, at work, more money, more time, better love; we are designed to want more, more, more! Why can't we seem to get a grasp on this want? If Celine and Jessie met six months later, would they still desire each other the way that they did nine years later? Had they given each other their contact would they have lost the spark? I think that they would have. 

It's so hard to put a limit on wanting. Personally, I know I have what I need, but I want more. Sometimes I think it wouldn't be bad to be content, but does that mean I am settling for less than I might be worth or capable of? Before Sunset captured the missed time and lost love of two people perfectly. The movie also captured how longing and desiring for another is so plausible through our fantasies and that's what keeps us hopeful that maybe someday we will be able to grasp what it is that we think will fulfill our desires. 

The Dirty Deed

I am an open book when it comes to sex and secrets inside the bedroom, but I never thought about what it might take to write about it. Steve Almond, New York Best Seller, writes graphically about sex and the encounters two people may have in the rawest form. This technique is not only fascinatingly interesting, but naughty and passionate. Almond made it apparent that sex comes with some emotional connection, but it doesn't mean that its the only thing on a person's mind when the deed is being done. Almond emphasized that there are many ways of loving and that you don't need to love someone. Almond said that when you love someone you love the "ugly" parts of them or the wounded. This concept was shared when Almond read his short story "Skull" and the man fell in love with the sexual interaction that he shared with his girlfriend and her damaged eye. Love is about finding another person and paying attention to who they really are. Is this possible though? Do we really ever know who the other person is? Sometimes I would like to think I know my boyfriend really well, but then so much of my time I spend wondering what is going through his head and why he processes his thoughts the way we do. I love him, but if I can't answer these questions and recite everything about him have I not paid enough attention? 

I wish I thought to being money to class on Tuesday because I certainly would have purchased his book. I really appreciate his openness and his candidness to love and sex. Some people struggle talking openly about sex let alone writing about it. Almond catches the details that some may never write or even think about and the details that some wish to carry out in their own sexual endeavors. 

On a final thought, Almond said "the path to truth runs through shame" and I can not seem to get this statement out of my mind. Why? I know the expression the truth hurts is often used and maybe this has something to do with it. Is the truth shameful? Unfortunately, I think about my life and some decisions I made and sometimes I believe that it is... I don't regret decisions I have made in my life, but if I could do it again I certainly would have made different decisions in sex, love and fulfilling my desires. I think we need to be able to take what we knew and revisit it so that our future doesn't hold truths that have passed through shame. Sexually or not, our truth doesn't need to be shameful; does it? 

Desire in Tunisia

Halfaouine is a movie that depicts the ideal image of desire through a young boys eyes named Noura. Noura is a boy seeking manhood, but is not at the age where it is acceptable. Young children go to community showers with their mothers until they are at age an age where they are too old or too curious. Noura watched the old teenage boys harass woman and “hit on” them as he was growing up. Come the age of twelve Noura became very curious. He would beg his mother he needed a shower and refused to go to the men’s shower so that he could see the naked women. The women represent the desire for manhood. Noura wanted to discover all parts of a woman’s body looked like and during the shower times that was not possible. The women had exposed breasts and bottoms, but cover their front private areas with a cloth or a ban. Noura’s family maid was young and attractive and he believed he could fulfill his desires by touching and undressing her in the dark at night. At home point Noura even tricked her into exposing her body so that he could massage her. Noura was smart in find ways into the world of a woman. He truly wanted to experience manhood and the curiosity was getting the best of him. After the maid was caught by Noura’s mother she was out of a job so at that point there was no more loss for her. The maid met Noura in his room under the covers and waited until he arrived. Upon arrival Noura received a slight smile and the lights went off. The maid brought a young boy into manhood. Noura’s desire of exploring the female anatomy was temporarily filled, but this will lead him to wanting more. There is no amount of something that is full of adventure and curiosity.

I found the process of circumcision very fascinating in that its extremely different from what I am accustomed to as an American. I didn’t realize it was so ritualistic in other cultures. My question about this experience is how it plays into the role of love and desire. I know there is a connection, but I am not finding it in my mind to share with you my opinion. Is circumcision very ritualistic in other cultures or is it just Tunisia?

The cultures were so drastically different from what I know as an American. I could not imagine growing up the way this culture did and I mean this with no disrespect. It’s incredible people can grow, develop and find strength in seeking and desiring love.